As many of you know, my best friend and I recently moved into a new house on the near-west side of Madison. We have a big picture window in the kitchen that overlooks our charming backyard. Oftentimes as I do dishes, I gaze outside at the lovely vegetation, the progress on the construction of our neighbor’s sunroom, or at the big, hairy woodchuck that endlessly feasts upon a buffet of grass and other plants in our yard. The woodchuck is long and repulsive, especially when it stands up on its two back legs–but at the same time, oddly kind of cute. This because it sort of reminds me of a badger–like Bucky, you know. Before the creature was actually identified, I oftentimes wondered what it was. A gopher, a groundhog, an enlarged squirrel, my friends Emily, Jill, and I hypothesized. But no, my mom said, “It is a woodchuck." “Ahhh…yes, a woodchuck,” we agreed. And with that, we thought we could all just live in great harmony. This was until the day we discovered its secret labyrinth. Yes, this awful rodent has dug a large and intricate tunnel system throughout our backyard. Karen came upon it one day when some of the patio bricks seemed to be sinking into the ground. Removing the bricks revealed a whole secret underground world.
Obviously, something needed to be done. For heaven’s sake, this creature of the underground world was tearing up our backyard! After contemplating how to best rid ourselves of this yard-destroying rodent, Karen decided to call Critter Control. Coz of Critter Control explained that he could set a trap for $150, with an additional charge of $50 for each body found in the trap. And by body, I don’t mean dead body. Well, not quite right away anyway. The plan was to catch the woodchuck and then peacefully euthanize it. The trap was placed on Thursday morning. For some reason, this made us giddy with excitement, and we often ran to the window to check the trap for bodies. Alas, the marshmallow and mystery meat product were not tempting enough for the Woodchuck. It was far too smart for our juvenile games. Karen called Coz with an update, or lack there of, on Friday. Coz said, “Ah yes, I suspected that trap wouldn't work.” He then asked, “Do you have any small children or animals,” to which Karen replied, “What?” He then explained the next step–a new trap in which the rodents don’t always make it. Make it out alive, that is. Coz further described how the new trap would be set up on Monday morning, stationed right above the hole. He assured Karen this trap would surely work.
Which bring us to today. The trap was set this morning. Goodbye, little friend. Goodbye, Woody. As Karen so eloquently stated this morning, “I had a moment of silence this morning for the woodchuck, on this, his final day of life...”
Obviously, something needed to be done. For heaven’s sake, this creature of the underground world was tearing up our backyard! After contemplating how to best rid ourselves of this yard-destroying rodent, Karen decided to call Critter Control. Coz of Critter Control explained that he could set a trap for $150, with an additional charge of $50 for each body found in the trap. And by body, I don’t mean dead body. Well, not quite right away anyway. The plan was to catch the woodchuck and then peacefully euthanize it. The trap was placed on Thursday morning. For some reason, this made us giddy with excitement, and we often ran to the window to check the trap for bodies. Alas, the marshmallow and mystery meat product were not tempting enough for the Woodchuck. It was far too smart for our juvenile games. Karen called Coz with an update, or lack there of, on Friday. Coz said, “Ah yes, I suspected that trap wouldn't work.” He then asked, “Do you have any small children or animals,” to which Karen replied, “What?” He then explained the next step–a new trap in which the rodents don’t always make it. Make it out alive, that is. Coz further described how the new trap would be set up on Monday morning, stationed right above the hole. He assured Karen this trap would surely work.
Which bring us to today. The trap was set this morning. Goodbye, little friend. Goodbye, Woody. As Karen so eloquently stated this morning, “I had a moment of silence this morning for the woodchuck, on this, his final day of life...”
1 comment:
I was over to Karen and Kristin house on Monday evening. Woody was still alive!!!! I went in the back yard and yelled.....Run Woody Run.... I hope he listened. I hope he finds a new home where he is appreciated.
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