A Sampler Nevermore

Last night after a run, I biked to Wholefoods, which is conveniently located only a few blocks from my house. I had to pick up Pistachio ice cream, which I discuss further in the previous post. I'm sure you've experienced how a grocery run to Wholefoods oftentimes plays out. You go in looking for one item, and leave with like twelve things, which somehow end up totaling a whole paycheck. I did, however, pick up some amazing treats for tonight’s concert on the square—chocolate covered almonds, pineapple salsa, fresh multigrain bread, and some peaches and green beans.

So last night I’m strolling down the aisles, sampling a few of their products because I love the samples at Wholefoods and I’m hungry as hell having just done a run and all, when I notice this completely disheveled, sketchy used car salesman-looking man with balding hair, dark-rimmed eyeglasses, a protruding belly, sloppily dressed in oversized slacks and a messy polo, who appears to be purposefully moving from sample to sample devouring the various chips and dips. He’s grabbing them up in handfuls and stuffing them in his mouth as if he hasn’t had a meal in a week. He's also completely oblivious to everything around him, including my disgusted stares.

My roommate always warned me about the samples. I never heeded her warning and continued about my business. Now I can't seem to get this digusting man out of my head. I don’t believe I’ll ever be the same. Just like that, my days of innocent sampling have abruptly come to an end.