My Parents Call Them "Gnomies"

Most people call them gnomes. Either my parents have always thought themselves very funny, or my hunch is they began mispronouncing the names of these little elf-like creatures long ago and only recently realized their mistake and now purposefully call them “gnomies” to pretend like they always knew. Only I know their little secret. Ha.

My parents collect the garden variety of “gnomies”. So far they have two in the yard at the lake. Soon to be a family, I hope. They started with one that was forlornly abandoned by its previous owners. Worn and weathered, my mother doctored it back to life with a shiny coat of paint. My mom tells me that their particular "tribe" is difficult to acquire. For that reason, she only recently found a partner for the original gnomie at an estate sale. They look good together, a dynamite pair if you ask me, although my mom insists that the new gnomie’s complexion makes the other look anemic. See for yourself. Obviously, something will need to be done about that. But there’s nothing a little paint job can’t fix.

Much like I needed to know the history of the Hodag, I just had to find out a little bit more about the origins of these garden dwellers. The first garden gnomes were apparently created by a porcelain maker named Phillip Griebel in the mid-1800’s in Gräfenroda, which is a small town in Thuringia, Germany. Originating in Germanic fairy tales and myths, gnomes often resemble an old man who lives underground and guards buried treasure. The traditional figurines are between eight and twenty-four inches tall and made from a terracotta clay mixture, which is easily distinguishable from today’s more common plastic imposter. Their disposition is always jovial, or at the very least mellow. They are often depicted with beards and red hats and are one of three types: worker gnomes, leisure gnomes, or culture gnomes. My parents have a worker and a leisure gnome. Procreation will hopefully secure a culture gnome, the youngest of the gnome family, whom is known to partake in cultural activities like reading and playing musical instruments.